My husband and I have been blessed the last few years to be invited on a hunt that a bow company puts on for dealers. The owner of the company also owns a timber company, which makes him about the largest land owner in Alabama - hunting land, mile after mile of woods and food plots - the stuff dreams are made of - property to which he invites the heads of the largest corporations in the country, names we have all over our houses. For the last year we have been dreaming and hoping to be invited back after seeing so many large bucks last year.

Well, I got my dream. My husband did not want me to take my 12’ ladder stand; he is tired of helping me lug and install the heavy thing. Being afraid of heights and very prone to panic, it is the only stand I am comfortable using. "It is too hard to put up, and can’t be moved from place to place twice a day," he says, which is pretty much what we do. Last year we only put it up once, and I wound up hunting on the ground most of the time which did not work. I knew then I would have to try a climber, realizing that, at least the first year, I wouldn’t go higher than 8-9 feet. "What happens if I drop something? I do it all the time. Or need a quick potty break? Pack up, spend 5 minutes climbing down, climb...back up another 5 minutes? I don’t think so. OK, so what choice do I have? The ground? And have the same zero success rating of the past years, or give it a try." I spent much of the time at this year’s trade show studying all the climbers on the market, trying to locate the perfect one that would be light, yet comfortable. After a half year of considering my decision, in August I purchased the stand so I could play with it at home and get used to it before October. One of our guys had showed me just how to slant the bottom so it would level out as I ascended the tree.

Not being familiar with this type of stand I didn’t completely follow the logic, but whatever. I’d seen it done a million times, so I proceeded to climb with no problem. . I practiced a total of three times, always in the same tree, and didn’t have much trouble climbing up to my high altitude of 8’.

"Now it is time to take it out locally to test it in a hunting situation. Attach it to the tree. Fine. Climb several feet, hmmm, the platform is tipped down. Have to go down and adjust it. The platform won’t sit on there like he showed me. Maybe it doesn’t like this tree. Let’s move. Next tree, the platform still won’t straighten out. Don‘t know why I can‘t get this darn thing to angle back then level out. ?*#@ I know, let’s try another tree. This looks a little better. Uh oh, there is a low branch on the back of the tree a few feet off the ground. I should have noticed that first. Why don’t I just stay 2 feet off the ground tonight? Works for me." (No one had explained the tightness of the chain affected how the stand sat on the tree.) "I think I will need a bag on the side, and a hook here, and of course a drink holder, all to replace the fanny pack that is hard to access when hanging from a stand. Now I am as ready as I will be for the trip if only I could figure out how to properly close the stand to wear it on my back."

The first two times out I climbed up and down twice trying to learn just how tight to make the stand to hunt on a level platform. The third time our guide led us to a large food plot, 21 miles back in the woods, 9 miles beyond the lodge and compound where he met us. He stated that the deer would likely be coming from the opposite corners. My husband has back trouble and can’t carry his stand far, so I grab a free strap on my stand which is still attempting to fall apart on me, bags loaded down with binoculars, rangefinder, Thermocell, ropes, call, cover scent, lures, water, and the other necessities of life at 8’.The thermometer only read 83 degrees this late October day, four degrees cooler than yesterday.

"Tracks all over the place. Time to unpack the stand again. This setting it up and taking it down is getting old fast. Now let’s fasten the rope to pull up the bow in a way that is not as hard to untie as it had been in the dark this morning. Up, up, up, hey, I think I am at 9 or 10 feet! The platform is not quite level, but it is better than it was several points on the way up. Put on an armguard, gloves, set out binoculars on my new hook. I’m ready to pull up the bow which I will have to hold as the bow holder fell off the first night. Where is the rope??? I attached it right here. THIS CAN‘T BE HAPPENING!!! Oh no, it is real. The rope caught on some thorns and untied. Now to unfasten the seat, place my binoculars safely in bag, and start back down. Bottom, top, bottom, top, slide safety line down, bottom, top, bottom, top, safety line, bottom, I am so frustrated. I just can’t believe this, and I am sweating like a stuffed pig! Every deer within ten miles knows I am here. Bottom, top, bottom, top, What is tugging on my harness? No, no, no! I left the line way up the tree! Well, I’m only 3 feet off the ground. I’ll just unhook now. Okay. We’re down. Why didn’t I remember there was a hole at the bottom my stand BEFORE my foot found it? Mission accomplished, so back up we go. The platform isn’t leveling out as well this time. We’ll continue a little and see if I can get it like it just was. After all, I didn’t change anything there. Halfway up and it is still not cooperating. Guess what we will do!!! Why not shimmy back down and re-hang the platform? Sure, who wanted to deer hunt anyway when one can be sweating off the pounds gained from the food here."

I’m finally about 8’ up, in a tall, branchless tree accompanied by several other tall, branchless trees. No covering at all. One or two feet more won’t make my chances any better. The place has been trashed from the recent hurricanes anyway, so the deer have been changing their patterns. I’ll stay here. Quicker to get down should the need arrive again in five or ten minutes.

The stuff dreams are made of…

 

© November 2004