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 One of the things that makes hunting and fishing great is being in the outdoors and among nature. I have watched a baby fox jumping, rolling and playing in the grass just before sunset. Just a week ago a giant hawk silently swooped down and took a little mouse right out of my oat patch and then perched on the cedar tree above my blind. I have walked right up on coyotes and even a bobcat while heading to my blind before dawn only to share a quick glance before they bound off to safety. The connection with nature as a hunter is a strong one. You have to put yourself in their world if you plan on being a worthy opponent. Unfortunately, the beautiful animals we stalk, share their world with some often ill tempered and visually horrifying little multi legged devil spawn!
It is funny how we learn more about ourselves the older we get. My mom always told me “never say never” and I found this to be more true with every year that goes by. I said I would never get a tattoo, I now have three. I said once that I would never sell my first truck and then I traded it for a deer lease buggy. I said the only thing I am scared of in this world is spiders and nothing could be worse. The sight of a spider sends me into a ridiculous state of paralysis where all I can seem to do is point and hyperventilate until a chivalrous soul slays the beast and saves my life. I am afraid to attempt an assassination on a spider myself because if the job is botched and the spider escapes alive I think he will rally troops and come back for me in the night… I have never been bitten, the thought alone brings whelps to my skin. I have never actually touched a spider or had one on me because I think the lord knows I would simply cease to live from fear alone. The only factor that keeps me coherent when I am in closed quarters with a spider is the fact that if I were to faint… I would be completely at the mercy of what the spider saw fit to do to me!
The most comical thing my fear drives me to do is joust from a 4 wheeler like a medieval knight! When driving through the woods you often come swiftly upon a large web expertly constructed across the trail, I have rolled off the back of an ATV to avoid feeling a web touch my skin. Now when I know we will be riding through the woods, I get a rather bushy limb and hold it out in front of me to take them down, before they can get me. Yes it is safe to say I have an irrational fear of our 8 legged brethren. But something happened this bow season that changed how I feel about spiders. Oddly enough, the incident did not even involve a spider at all but something far worse. An insect that makes a shark look cuddly, and a cobra look sweet. An insect that makes the cliff of the mile deep Grand Canyon seem like a perfectly rational choice of escape from it. An insect that makes spiders, my worst fear, seem…almost endearing.
Oh I have always known about scorpions. I have seen them on TV and in books. I have even heard other people’s horror stories. But where I live in south east Texas, scorpions just don’t reside so I suppose I always saw them as a non existent mystical being.
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My brother lives in Leon County north west of me on a recently purchased remote piece of property that he invited me to hunt. He planted me an oat patch in a small clearing and I set up a blind under a beautiful cedar tree. The first weekend I hunted the rain never stopped. I watched several does and bunny rabbits harvesting the gorgeous brand new green oats in the freshly disked ground. I felt so blessed to have a wonderful brother to offer me this opportunity. I hunted several more times shortly after that and before a 2 week break in which I hunted other properties. I came back to my beautiful clearing in the woods and entered my blind through the zipper door on a cold clear morning. As always I checked it for spiders before I settled in. I quietly unzipped the triangle windows to expose the shoot through mesh and that’s when I saw it. The body of a scorpion who had recently perished. He had obviously climbed up the side of the blind and gotten into the camo screening, but could not breech the heavy duty zipper to get inside or escape the way he came in. As scary as he was, I was thankful he was dead. As the morning broke, the sunlight revealed several young does grazing on the now more mature oat patch. Several hours later with no new activity I was hungry and needed to tinkle so I decided my morning hunt was over. I packed up my bow and unzipped my door. When I went to step out I noticed something blood curdling. A scorpion must have been crawling up the side of my blind and when I unzipped the door it placed him directly on… excuse me a second… it is hard to finish this sentence… directly on my… gulp, directly on my hand. I quickly slung him down on the floor while letting out the loudest scream ever released by a human. Then I proceeded to perform normal “spider” dance. I slung my hair around with my hands and a whipping neck motion while stomping my feet and simultaneously screaming, gagging and shuddering. Oh I forgot spinning, I spin while doing all these things at once, you know so the g force would sling off anything else on me. Forget jogging, or boxing or yoga, this burns as many calories in 10 seconds but with a higher risk of stroke or heart attack! I then saw him slowly trying to get away (it was very cold out, so like all cold blooded animals in these conditions, he was lethargic) so I had to think fast. I un-knocked my arrow equipped with a 100 grain G5 fixed broad head and I landed a fatal blow in the middle of the beasts back. There was not a deer within 5 miles of me at this point and I figured someone heard the commotion and would be coming to check on me soon so I sat down on my little tri pod shooting chair in a daze and shook uncontrollably while clinging to my arrow bearing the body of my new greatest fear. I soon heard my brothers Polaris Ranger on its way to rescue me. When he got out and asked me what the heck happened, I held up my arrow and said “I tell you what brother, I ain’t that scared of spiders no more!”
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Bows 
